Falling out of love

I still remember my first flight, my first landing. It was the 18th of October 2003. A clear, crisp day with only a few clouds in the sky. I was flying the little nose-cone-less Cessna 150 with no transponder, nav radio or heating but I had one of the best instructors I have ever had the privilege of flying with sitting beside me.

We took off, fooled around a bit turning, climbing and descending, then came back to land on CYYG's runway 21. I flew the PAPI on the 3 mile final and controlled the plane all the way to the landing which I remember was flapless and quite good considering... I had fallen in love with one of the most beautiful things a human can do: fly.

Fast forward 7-and-a-bit years. I'm sitting by the Indian Ocean, in the sweltering heat with clouds of mosquitos all around me suffering from my now monthly sinus infection. I have been flying what I believe is one of the most beautiful, agile, amazing commercial aeroplanes in operation for 2 years now and I have been in exile for 2 years as well. I have met many amazing people, made good friends and I don't regret most of it ... but I'm still in exile, living for work.

People tell me I'm so lucky to be living my dream of being a pilot.. Dream yes, but is it a good dream? The exhilarating tingle I used to feel whenever we took off is gone, the enjoyment of flying a perfect path approach is gone, the wonder of looking outside and seeing earth as only few can see it is gone. All I can think of now is getting the wretched paperwork over with as soon as possible so I can get back to my book and try not to fall asleep. Even the sunrises and sunsets - my once ultimate drug - all seem somewhat drab.

I may be living a dream but it's certainly not my dream anymore... I seem to have fallen out of love with flying.

S.

How not to plan a roster

My last cycle has been:

Day 1 - Leave home 2330, fly 1:30 to Male, fly 1:30 back, get home at 0530 (on day 2).

Day 3 - Leave home at 0550, fly 1:30 to Male, fly 1:30 back, get home 1145.

Day 4 - Leave home at 1120, fly 3:30 to Karachi, fly 3:20 back, get home 2145.

Day 5 - Leave home at 2230, fly 2:20 to Bombay, fly 2:20 back, get home at 0700 (on day 6).

That's about 24h "rest" between duties, which makes resting difficult. Going to work at bed time and adjusting your body clock 12h every day is effectively impossible.

S.